No doubt about it, there comes a time when you just don’t chase after it like you used to. Don’t get me wrong, everything is working as it should. Needs are being met but those needs are far less than they were in the past. All of sudden you realize you have a decreased money drive. Don’t worry, it’s just a naturally evolving relationship with money that cumulates with retirement. It eventually happens whether you want it to or not.

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Our Evolving Relationship With Money

We will go through great lengths to get it when we are young and just starting out.

We do everything possible to make ourselves more attractive to ensure success. Lucky are those who do find the perfect fit for a partner. But most of us will enter into relationships that we know won’t be a happy long-term one. We simply rationalize doing it to meet our basic needs for it and for getting as much of it as possible.

Some of us will always be looking for something better. 

We will choose to be  promiscuous to fulfill desires, jumping from partner to partner or engaging in side hustles even when our primary partner would not like it if found out. Living complicated lives feeding our wants for it while juggling the needs of many and risking our primary relationship. Just to get more of it with no guarantee of long-term success.

Others will find themselves sticking to a less than perfect relationship through thick and thin.

They do it because it meets longer term goals where benefits outweigh other longed for desires.

Some people’s money relationships don’t evolve.

They never stop playing the field or doing whatever it takes to keep chasing after it. It is the life they choose to live right to the bitter end. Their end or when nobody wants them anymore and there will be an abrupt life altering relationship crash.

Those who get comfortable and feel safe in their partner relationship will stop trying to be the most attractive or desired.

They no longer fully chase after more of it. They instead settle in, knowing that at some point it will be over and time to leave them behind. Just going through the motions to keep their partner satisfied. But all the time wishing and waiting for their way out.

Things get really interesting once we do leave.

Suddenly the lack of regular access to it messes with our minds and we question our decision to call it quits. We have to adjust our mindset and accept that it will be limited going forward. It’s a natural transition that takes a little time to get through. And then it hits us, chasing after more and more of it really isn’t as important to us as it used to be.

The Clues of a Decreased Money Drive

There comes a time either before we leave or soon after when we are no longer tempted to chase after it. We even find it easy to turn down opportunities for it. It can be troubling for some of us, seen as unnatural after a lifetime of doing everything to score more of it. But we soon realize we aren’t the same as we once were.

Some of us will retire and again try to re-enter the game. Even making ourselves a little more attractive to new partners. However, with a decreased money drive we’ll do it smarter and be far more selective about who that will be with. The first clue something has changed is our focus goes from just having it to wanting something more fulfilling and rewarding in the relationship we are entering into to get it. We instead seek to have a good experience beyond just getting it to be truly happy. It no longer rules or drives us away from what we value or the way we want to approach life going forward.

A New Perspective About Money

My relationship with money has changed dramatically since I retired.

Money and the way I got it through job title no longer defines me. I don’t need to be the person who is always getting it or seen as trying to. Retirement brings all kinds of transformation. There is a big retirement transition from working and doing everything necessary for money accumulation to simply living off of it. I just had to give myself time to mentally adjust.

My retirement gigs paid me more than just money.

I chose opportunities that I wanted to experience regardless of salary and thought I was making a retirement work mindset shift. But it was really about transforming my relationship with money. When I make even a small amount of money doing something I enjoy doing, it means much more to me than my old career income did. It just takes being picky about any work I choose to do.

I refuse to let myself go to pot.

I may have a decreased money drive and have stopped trying to be the most attractive to recruiters and hiring managers, but I still maintain my professional network and LinkedIn profile. There are actually some of the people from my past life that I like. I also stay curious and invested in the payable skills I still enjoy doing. I see it as a great way to exercise my biggest asset, my brain.

My evolved relationship with my only early retirement income source, my portfolio.

It took time but I have learned to detach from my portfolio. Even as I have watched the bouncing market of late, any market declines caused less emotional impact than it did before my decreased money drive fully kicked in. I no longer chase after a specific number. It’s there doing its job and I now just trust my portfolio diversification and financial plan.

What matters to me more now is how I live a life aligned with my values and with people I want to be around. Maybe that’s the biggest sign there is a decreased money drive, when relationships with people becomes much more important than chasing after more money.

The longer I am retired the easier it is to embrace having a decreased money drive. I don’t think our evolving relationship with money ever really ends until we leave the planet. Hopefully things always go more in our favor and it will continue to evolve in only the happiest of directions.