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Quiet Retiring: The Retire In-Place Early Retirement Strategy

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I sometimes find some of the new personal finance and career trends to be amusing. Most times it’s a new clever repackaging of what has always been around. Lately my amusement is about how some people are using quiet quitting to make a statement about their dissatisfaction with their careers. Why does it amuse me? Because it’s nothing new. Here’s another flavor that has always been there. A slightly more aggressive form I’ll now call quiet retiring. It may be a possible new trendy path to slowly ending your career if quiet quitting isn’t enough. 

Ask yourself: 

  • Have you saved for retirement but can’t quite get there with stunted market performance and inflation? 
  • Are you at the end of your go-getter rope, hating the soulless job stress that’s slowly killing you?
  • Need a way out of the stressful grind or crappy unbalanced work life and still collect your paycheck and benefits in a corporate world that favors newly attained employees? 

If you answer yes then you might want to consider just retiring in place using a quiet retiring slacker retirement strategy. Use your talents and skills to get most of what you really want: Less stress, reduced obligation, and the happiness that comes with taking control of your life.

Quiet Retiring: The Retire in Place Early Retirement Strategy
Nobody Slugs A Smiling Sloth

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8 Steps To Pull Off The Quiet Retiring Slacker Early Retirement

We’ve all seen and suffered from the “retired in place” at some point in our workplace. At least that’s what we used to call them in my first career. The long-time employees who seemed to escape all the BS and stressful hard work assignments. Those slackers love their jobs and found a way to stay employed. Best of all it’s successfully done by people of all ages. They just may be onto something!

If you’re tired of being a go-getting keister buster and wisely saving for early retirement but can’t get there soon enough, then transforming yourself from Go-Getter to No-Getter may be the answer. 

This plan is all around refocusing your talents away from climbing the ladder to relaxed coasting. Something that has to be done covertly and carefully because management isn’t going to just allow you to do it. If they hate quiet quitters, they will really dislike you doing this. 

In a nutshell, the quiet retiring focus is about creating a work environment where stress can be sloughed-off or passed-on. Where eventually management only assigns you the easiest of tasks and allows you to skate by, being virtually unaccountable. All while still collecting your paycheck and benefits like health insurance until you have enough saved to ditch the rat race on your terms. 

Who knows, it may also provide a big send-off severance check if you eventually get tossed during a downturn. If sticking it to the man floats your boat, then there’s plenty of that too.

Step 1- Identify and Then Mirror the Retired in Place 

Change the way you think about those retired in place that you’ve disdained. As a stressed out go-getter I used to just shake my head wondering how in the hell do they get away with it. It’s time to flip that thinking. Instead of thinking they are unmotivated banana slugs, admire how brilliantly tuned-in they are to management’s mental blind spots. Those who successfully retire in place figure out the perfect balance of doing as little as necessary while setting a low bar for expectations. Yet they’re able to stay employed for as long as they want. Show up and leave on time with nothing but stress free fluff in the middle. Yep, that’s the ticket! 

Management just wants things done. They always find it far easier to force the motivated ladder climbing go-getters to do things because a slacker can’t be 100% relied upon to come through in time. They can’t even identify a motivating carrot to dangle in front of them.

The slackers where you work have found the exact low effort success recipe for your company’s culture and management. Learn from them through observation. Research, admire, and study their work, actions, attitude, demeanor, and imaginative but effective excuses. Then create your own quiet retiring strategy. 

If there are no quiet anything slackers to be found, then you might want to cancel this plan. Maybe you can become their first ever to attempt this in your organization but it’s more likely that your employer’s management has figured it out. You’ll most likely fail, sooner than later.

Step 2- Be the Biggest Cheerleader 

It all starts here. Can you hold your nose to be a cheerleader and enthusiastically cheer every decision and accomplishment within your organization whether it’s total BS or not? If you can’t then your quiet retiring plan may fail. It’s the one thing that management really likes about employees. It’s a slacker perception smokescreen and it somehow always magically protects them. It works so well that any teammate who complains about a cheerleading slacker is looked at as more unfavorable by management than the slacker is. Slackers may not be considered a reliable go-getter, but by God the good slackers sure are perceived as the most engaged, happy, and positive employees on the team. 

Always smile and openly compliment the others who will ultimately be picking up your slack. Be the one who suggests a potluck accomplishment lunch or group success celebration. Create visibly awkward moments by calling out for team hugs, high fives, and fist bumps. Take all the teammate eyerolls that you will be getting as a sign that you are on the right track. You are noticed and remembered for enthusiastically being there for the team.

Step 3- Being in the Right Spot 

Look at the size of your organization. There has to be enough people to hide within and to carry the load of doing all of the hard stuff and BS that you won’t be doing anymore. If you are on a small team or there are already too many quiet quitters or retired in place, then consider transferring to another team or department. 

An internal company move will allow you to begin your quiet retiring by coasting under the guise of “new person ramp-up” in training. I have seen successful slackers stretch that time-line out for years while successfully deploying the other slacker retired in place tactics. 

Step 4- Easy Does It, You New No-Getter

Don’t make the mistake of going too fast into your quiet retiring. If you’ve been the stressed out go-getter for many years then you can’t just immediately retire in place. Slide into it slowly. You must gradually cause lower expectations. Drop the ball and get a few, I’m worried about your lower performance discussions before going full bore. Just use the “I’ve got personal issues I’m working through” excuse.

Start by just letting slide all of the crap you absolutely hate doing. But do still hold a high level of competence and performance for things you actually enjoy doing or that are super important to management as far as performance objectives or team metrics. There’s still opportunity to score some easy performance bonuses and raises during the early stages of your descent into quiet retiring. Then slowly start to let other things slip here and there until you can move into full retired in place operandi. 

Gradually trim back everything that causes work stress but do the things that you can still be happy doing. While you’re most likely trashing any career accomplishment legacy you might have, it’s important to have a reason other than money and benefits for keeping up the charade and showing up. 

Step 5- Don’t Volunteer to Lead But Enthusiastically Join 

There’s always going to be a proposed important project or activity in a staff or team meeting. You know, the ones that have stressful short timeframe or will be extremely difficult. Never volunteer. Sit back and let a ladder climbing  go-getter do that. But once it looks as if it will be a team effort, jump in as a tag-along. It doesn’t matter that you have no intention of working hard. What matters and will be remembered is that you enthusiastically offered to help and was part of the team. Team success will also land on you no matter how big of a slacker you were. 

If you are unfortunately assigned the lead by management then make sure it becomes a team effort. If it isn’t obviously going that direction, start by saying “this sounds great. I have a lot on my plate but I think I can make room”. Then start complimenting a team go-getter so they get dragged into your team. While working on the project make sure to throw in a lot of “WE” talk with the other assigned team members. Reminding everyone this is a “WE” situation will make the go-getter(s) overcompensate for what will be your quiet retiring performance. 

There is one exception to this step or rule. Do volunteer to lead any celebration type activity to be a compliment to your cheerleading efforts and then milk the crap out of it to avoid other stressful or hard work assignments. 

Step 6- Exaggerate Your Work’s Importance and the Effort It Takes

Even as a retired in place slacker you will have work that you will be doing. It’s important to inflate the work you choose to do. Your quiet retiring task is to spin your wheels for as long as possible. That way you appear too busy to be assigned anything more and especially anything hard. Always smile and talk about how difficult and important your work is. Remember that many managers have no idea what the actual work is or how it’s done anyway. 

Step 7- When All Else Fails, Buy Treats

It is highly recommended that you strategically shower a few inexpensive treats on your coworkers and team while you retire in place. Sometimes a slacker’s best strategies will wear thin or fall short. Buying team treats is an important part of any quiet retiring toolkit. Especially when you have successfully dropped the ball and your team has had to carry your load. Even when being late to a meeting, treats like doughnuts, cookies, or bagels are the perfect smokescreen tactic to deploy. Even cheap day-old or old halloween candy works. It’s a companion action to being the biggest cheerleader. 

Step 8- CYA: Document Everything

There are times when slackers will be targeted for reprisal or dismissal.  If your finances aren’t where you can otherwise retire, then you must CYA with documentation that can be used to secure a severance package or financial offer if things go south. 

Any miswording or action that could be considered even remotely offensive to anyone, whether you were offended or not, should be documented. Dates, places, the issue, the offender, the audience, witnesses, etc. 

Don’t play your hand unless you have to. At the first sign you may be in serious slacker employment trouble, drop the bomb. Say you have been working in fear and now need to bring atrocious behavior to the attention of company executives. Use your most inquisitive and sad look on your face and quietly ask, do you think I might need an attorney?

CYA documentation may not stop your termination but you may end up with a bigger severance package or offer to make both you and it all go away. It just could bridge your retirement savings gap.

If you have an impressive list of bad behavior there are always legal options. You may be a retired in place quiet retiring slacker but you’re also now a sympathetic or even maybe a pathetic victim in this rancid cultural stew that celebrates grievance. It just might pay off! Remember, you are the biggest cheerleader. You were always the lead for celebrations and you constantly brought treats to the team. 

In Closing

Quiet retiring means you still have to show up to your job. But think of it as being about fulfilling your social needs and getting paid at the same time. Look, retiring in place isn’t some clueless “work until you die” retirement plan. If you are killing yourself in a stressful job and can’t quite retire yet, the quiet retiring goal is to purposely and happily retire in place while you continue building your retirement nest egg. Why should the actual lazy morons and ruthless manipulating idiots only get to pull it off?

LAST BUT NOT LEAST- 

It is extremely important that you’re completely aware that this was written to be totally facetious. 

There’s been talk about the trend of people “quiet quitting” in today’s post pandemic workplace. Then an old first career coworker told me of his stress and frustration about having to carry retired in place do-nothings. I was amazed to hear that some of the same long-time slackers were still allowed to work there from my days dealing with them over 12 years ago. They always tell everyone how much they love their jobs and the company. For some it must be close to 20 years of slacking their way to a stressless retired in place happy career. They have a lifestyle they never need to ever retire from. 

As one unashamed retired in place slacker once told me, “I haven’t had much of a salary increase in years, but my hourly work pay has quadrupled”. 

Personally I think doing any of these quiet retiring tactics takes much more effort than just pulling your own weight and doing your job to the fullest. Just set some rational boundaries, continue living below your means, and keep doing what you’ve done to become as successful as you are and can be. 

This is just a little Labor Day mental musing based on my past corporate career encounters that crosses with today’s career trends. I’m funnin on both managers and slackers alike. This Quiet Retiring Slacker Early Retirement Plan is of course tongue in cheek. Or is it?

Mastering the Skill of Doing Nothing in Retirement

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Retirement is an amazing time. I find it both interesting and amusing that I had to put effort into doing nothing in retirement. Before retiring it seemed it would be a no-brainer handling time just doing nothing. But in reality, after many decades of serving the employment masters, there is a whole slew of conditioning geared toward productivity that has to be unwoven.

The “doing nothing” definition flips after retirement and for me it is a humorous mind trip. There is doing nothing from the working stiff perspective and another point of view from the retirement side of living. That’s because from our time in school and throughout our working lives, doing nothing has been given a bad reputation. Well not anymore. Doing nothing in retirement is a useful skill.

Mastering the Skill of Doing Nothing in Retirement

Photo by Toa Heftiba on Unsplash

I’m Always Looking For Ways To Improve My Early Retirement

The truth is we can be way too busy in retirement. It’s easy to over commit and cram in as much as we can. Especially early in retirement. You can’t really grasp that until you are retired and living it. It doesn’t matter how many times you heard it from other retirees before entering the retirement zone yourself.

I have written about how I stay busy and how rarely I catch TV or anything close to being sedentary before 5 PM. Like it’s something to be proud of and a measurement of my early retirement success by having no chance to ever be bored. But something was missing. I now admit that it took my having a few years of early retirement under my belt to wise up. It took me a little time to learn how to be better at doing nothing. I jokingly call it a retirement skill because it is something that you get better at with practice.  

Skillfully Doing Nothing In Retirement

First off, having some structure in our retirement is a good thing. But sometimes we just trade one over-structured lifestyle for another. One that leaves no room for just doing nothing. I find it a little funny that I can become the most demanding boss I’ve ever had.

Part of the problem is all the cautions about having the non-financial aspects of retirement covered. Those constantly drummed warnings about people who retired into misery because of boredom. It’s best that we know what we plan on doing with all of our free time. Those cautions really do apply.

But there should be another caution in the retirement for newbies handbook: Beware of overdoing it with the commitment of your hard-won free-time. Our brains seem oddly wired to be productive and we can try to overcompensate once our initial retirement honeymoon of leisure ends. Mine sure did.

Four Steps To Mastering the Skill of Doing Nothing in Retirement

Step #1- Start by Recognizing the Health Benefits of Doing Nothing

It sounds strange but doing nothing is actually doing something. Doing nothing allows for us to have down-time from a busy retirement schedule to improve our mental and physical health. This is an important step because it all starts here for reasons that became clear to me in later steps.

We took breaks when we worked. The reasons for those breaks still come into play in retirement. Those of us who retired early are an ambitious lot. It’s something that carries on into retirement.

Doing Nothing will:

  • Allow time to clear our head and rest.
  • Improve our mood and wellbeing.
  • Lower our heart rate.
  • Increased our brain health.

I didn’t immediately embrace the concept that doing nothing would have health benefits. But I had to acknowledge that over the ages meditation has been shown to bring peace to one’s health and mind. Meditation is the ultimate form of doing nothing.

I now listen to my mind and body for signs that it’s time to step back and start a little retirement do nothing time. My doing nothing episodes lasts as long as it needs to. I just jump back into my busy retirement schedule when I am ready to step back into it.

Step #2- Embrace The Idea That it’s OK to Spend Time Doing Nothing

I had to ask myself: Why was my occasionally doing nothing OK when still working but not now?  Why did I let it bug the crap out of me now that I am retired? Taking a break is necessary, even in retirement. When I was a worker I used to spend whole weekends doing nothing. Especially after a busy and stressful work week. I would even proudly brag I did nothing over the weekend. That was my time-out from being under “The Man”. I’m now the boss. What is different now is that in retirement I get to decide when and take as long as I want or need to do nothing .

After decades under the control of the corporate world it’s no wonder I struggled with this aspect of freedom. It was too easy in retirement to push myself beyond a leisurely pace to fulfill my passions and interest goals. I was at times stressing myself out and it was a total mind-warp. I now know that the skill of doing nothing had to be learned through practice after all the years spent in the working mindset. This is the necessary mind-shift I had to complete from my worker self to my retired self. I had to reconfigure an ingrained doing nothing belief system. Retirement means never having to earn approval for downtime.

I gave myself permission by saying: Dude, you have already recognized the health benefits of stepping back and doing nothing, just let it rip. I made a mental flip to embrace doing nothing as valued and stopped caring about what others think. When I’m on a do nothing day and asked what I have been up to I smile and admit it instead of trying to always have something productive to answer back with. Remember, most everyone still working already thinks retirees are doing nothing anyway, no matter how we answer.

Step #3- Control The Productivity Beast Within

There is only so much time in a day and I had to stop prioritizing my chosen activities based on its productive merits. Productive purpose seemed to always come before purposeful fun. It was like one of those vacations where everyday there was something fun scheduled to do. Running from one thing to another where there was no down time to just enjoy a day of leisurely sloth to slow down. When the productive vacation ends you’re run down instead of rested and feel like we need a vacation from our vacation. Just because something should be fun, if we don’t pace ourselves, we end up turning it into something else.

I stopped assigning productive purpose to everything I do in retirement. It’s alright to do things that have productive purpose but it shouldn’t dictate it’s priority at the expense of doing nothing or even activity done solely for the fun of it. For instance, de-emphasize reading based on educational value. Enjoy reading without assigning or needing a side motive. Repurpose biking and hiking from exercise to fun by slowing down and enjoying the scenery. Taking a nap just because I want to. Turn on the TV and catch an afternoon oldie or movie and tune out for a while. The list goes on and on. Tame the inner productivity beast by understanding that purposeful doing nothing in retirement is different from wasting our valuable retirement time.

Step #4- Everything in Moderation

Warning: Doing nothing can be addicting. Overdose can result in boredom and severe procrastination. Like everything else in life, moderation is required. Doing nothing in retirement can be highly addictive and create unwanted habits. The retirement boredom cautions are very real and worthy of concern. There has to be a balance of productivity and purposeful doing nothing.

 

It took time for me to admit I had a productivity bias against doing nothing and had to adjust my thinking to accept it. I only do what I want to do in my retirement but I still lean a bit towards the productive side of things. There are still goals to meet and things that I want to accomplish that won’t happen when doing nothing. But I also see the benefit of doing what I can to master the skill of doing nothing in retirement.

Workaholism Survives Financial Independence

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I have news that may surprise those on the journey to financial independence and perhaps also to those already enjoying the fruits of reaching their freedom goals. Workaholism Survives Financial Independence and Early Retirement. Just because you reach the point where you no longer NEED to work doesn’t mean your Workaholism will be automatically cured. The key is first recognition and then taking action as soon as possible.

Some people will joke calling themselves a workaholic when putting in extra hours on a project. When temporarily putting their personal life on hold. The truth is that anyone suffering from the negative impacts of Workaholism have nothing to joke about.

Workaholism is defined as valuing work over anything else.

There is no balance where their life can place value on or allow them to enjoy relationships, hobbies, or leisure.

Workaholism can cause serious health issues and destroy their marriage and other relationships.
Workaholics will work even if it is all-consuming.

Living without happiness or pleasure because they have no other passions, interests, or activities they would consider doing instead.

Workaholism is like an addiction.

An addiction with nothing but negative outcomes. Where the workaholic may want to stop because they recognize the damage it is doing but can’t stop.

The FI Community Has Its Share of Workaholics

Those who are successfully on the path to financial independence certainly have an ambitious and driven type of personality. They work hard to generate income. They budget, eliminate debt, become super-savers, side hustlers for extra income, etc. Chances are there are at least some workaholic traits if not full-blown Workaholism going on within them. Whether realized or not.

I know I suffered from it during my first career. I find even now after financial independence, early retirement, an encore career, and a second early retirement that I am not going to ever be cured. I will always be a Recovering Workaholic.  I’m not kidding about that.

It shows up during any project I am working on. I can become all consumed and can’t stop myself until it hits me that I am ignoring what is going on around me. All of the important things in my life drop by the wayside. I usually see it happening and catch myself where I can then pace myself and enjoy the moments passing by with my wife and family.

I have to remind myself that just because I am doing what I want to do and am passionate about doing that it is all too easy to fall into the same Workaholic traps. This of course results in my neglecting everything else.

Workaholism Does Survive Financial Independence and Early Retirement

I can tell you that Workaholism Survives Financial Independence and Early Retirement. It’s not just for those who have to serve their jobs, climb the corporate ladder, and accumulate as much money as they can get. You bring it with you wherever you go and are.

My Workaholism actually started early in school where I ignored everything else in my effort to earn straight ‘A’s. It has been with me much of my life. Fortunately I can now recognize my slips and put a stop to it. For others it’s not so easy because their Workaholic addiction takes over and they don’t even realize it until their health, relationships, or attitude toward life fails.

Workaholism Survives Financial Independence so Know the Signs

The first step to avoiding or beginning to stop Workaholism is to know the signs and recognize whether you have the traits and habits that put you in danger.

To figure out if you have workaholic tendencies, habits, or perhaps full-blown Workaholism, Workaholics Anonymous suggests you ask yourself these 20 questions.

Having only Three positive answers are considered an indicator that you may have a problem with Workaholism:
  1. Do you get more excited about your work than about family or anything else?
  2. Are there times when you can charge through your work and other times when you can’t?
  3. Do you take work with you to bed? On weekends? On vacation?
  4. Is work the activity you like to do best and talk about most?
  5. Do you work more than 40 hours a week?
  6. Do you turn your hobbies into money-making ventures?
  7. Do you take complete responsibility for the outcome of your work efforts?
  8. Have your family or friends given up expecting you on time?
  9. Do you take on extra work because you are concerned that it won’t otherwise get done?
  10. Do you underestimate how long a project will take and then rush to complete it?
  11. Do you believe that it is okay to work long hours if you love what you are doing?
  12. Do you get impatient with people who have other priorities besides work?
  13. Are you afraid that if you don’t work hard you will lose your job or be a failure?
  14. Is the future a constant worry for you even when things are going very well?
  15. Do you do things energetically and competitively, including play?
  16. Do you get irritated when people ask you to stop doing your work in order to do something else?
  17. Have your long hours hurt your family or other relationships?
  18. Do you think about your work while driving, falling asleep, or when others are talking?
  19. Do you work or read during meals?
  20. Do you believe that more money will solve the other problems in your life?
Workaholism isn’t a joke even though society may accept it and it is thrown around as a joke.

If you find you have a problem with Workaholism that you cannot control and it is negatively impacting your life, health, and relationships you can find help. It can be as easy as tuning-in to your problem and reaching out for more information at Workaholics Anonymous, a “fellowship of individuals who share their experience, strength, and hope with each other that they may solve their common problems and help others to recover from Workaholism”.

Workaholism Survives Financial Independence so Take Steps Early

You work hard to reach your financial goals and finally retire early from a life where you have to work. Your second act doesn’t have to carry your Workaholism of the past. Deal with it as soon as you can. If you haven’t dealt with your Workaholism while still in the Rat Race then don’t think it won’t appear in your early retirement. We leave the Rat Race with all the same drive and ambition that got us to Financial Independence and even though we may shift our focus from serving our corporate masters we can still fall into the same workaholic traps and suffer the same negative impacts. Basically without knowing it we create our own personal Rat Race under the rationalization that I am doing what I want to do.

Steps to Take:

Focus on what is truly important to you.

Obviously by reaching financial independence and retiring from a career-driven mindset we have redirected our focus away from our work and that is huge. Retiring to something is key. When I look at any opportunity that I have interest in or am passionate about doing in my “retire early and often” lifestyle or take on a project associated to my hobbies or home, I have to put aside my workaholic tendencies and stay on track.

Things that should have more importance than working or tackling a big project is Family, Friends, Health, and Leisure to have fun in life. List what is most important to you and swear to focus on dedicating some of your time to them. Even slowing down and being in the moment should be included because making time for all the others is wasted if your mind is always preoccupied with your work or project. Always remember that the things that are truly important can’t be bought and can be easily lost.

Set Limits on the number of projects or work you take on.

I have a lot of projects I WANT to start and someday finish. The trick is to finish tasks before starting another one. Incremental completion helps sooth the workaholic beast so that I don’t feel like I have to cram it all in during a short time-frame, thus robbing time from the important things. If something isn’t working-out then move on instead of wasting more of your valuable time on it. Remember that it is your time that you are spending and it’s too expensive to needlessly run through trying to please people.

Set time limits on projects or work.

Whether it’s which days a week and/or which hours in the day, limit your project or work time so that you always have time for the important stuff. Limit your time doing work and stick to it. Mindlessly throwing massive hours at your project or work only feeds Workaholism and starves the truly important things out of existence.

Assess the value of any project or work you take on.

Do a time-to-benefit analysis (your time vs how much and who [how many] benefit). What is the benefit of completing the work or a project? Are people waiting for you to finish? Is the deadline just one you laid on yourself? Always ask yourself this so you never get caught working on something for the sake of working on something. Workaholics tend to busy themselves with work just for work’s sake. Don’t be that person. If the benefit is low or none then don’t waste your time doing it and instead go hang-out with the family.

Purposely pace yourself.

The worst boss for a workaholic to work for is themselves. That is because they set tight deadlines for themselves with high expectations causing long hours trying to finish. Stop doing that. If you have other people pushing a deadline or requesting a lot of your time then do a real self-assessment and only accept what is reasonable. Then of course don’t let your Workaholism kick in and have you busting keister trying to beat it. Go into every project and work with purposeful time-management and pace yourself so you always make time for the truly important things.

Control your perfectionism.

Stop aiming for perfection in everything you do especially if it’s not necessary to meet your project or work’s purpose. Remember your Time carries a high value and there is always something better to do with it.

Strive to be productive and efficient.

Try to concentrate and get work done within short time-frames. This is so you can later allow yourself to celebrate your accomplishment by taking time to relax. Work smarter not longer.

Final Thought

Workaholism Survives Financial Independence and Early Retirement where our workaholic tendencies and habits manifest themselves in the projects or second-act careers we take on. Unfortunately they can cause the same negative impacts as when we are in a career striving for advancement and financial independence. Fortunately by recognizing our Workaholism we can take steps to control it.

You can still be a hard worker by working with efficiency and produce excellent quality work and not be a workaholic. It’s all about how you manage and prioritize your time and where you value spending it. Our time is finite and once it’s gone it’s gone. Take the Workaholics Anonymous 20 question self-survey and see if you have traits that need to be recognized as needing monitoring and possible elimination from your life.

Did you take the Workaholics Anonymous 20 question self-survey? How many questions you answer YES to?